The Vice Chancellor meticulously defined the mechanics of “growing in love” as a conscious, daily investment in the truth of another person, rather than a fixation on an idealized image. He proposed that “falling” in love is frequently a selfish act, a surrender to the pleasure of infatuation, whereas “growing” in love is a selfless exercise of will. To grow in love requires the patience of a gardener; it involves the slow, often difficult work of understanding a partner’s character, supporting their aspirations, and navigating conflicts with grace. The “horror” of the “fall” is its lack of foundation; it is a house built on the sand of hormones and high-intensity emotions. In contrast, growing in love is a house built on the rock of shared values and mutual respect. The Vice Chancellor emphasized that while “falling” requires no effort and carries no long-term security, “growing” requires everything of a person but offers, in return, a bond that is resilient enough to withstand the inevitable storms of life.

In addressing “how to love” and “to be loved,” the Vice Chancellor steered the congregation toward the maturity of being truly known. He explained that to be loved is not to be the object of someone’s temporary obsession, but to be the recipient of their consistent care. He challenged the students to examine their own “falls,” noting that when we fall, we are often bruised and broken by the impact of reality when the initial high wears off. To move forward from these horrors, one must stop seeking the “rush” and start seeking the “roots.” He urged the audience to view love as a spiritual and intellectual climb a journey toward a higher version of themselves. This growth, he noted, is only possible when two people are moving in the same direction toward a common purpose, rather than spinning in the dizzying, closed circle of infatuation.